In Order to Grow, You Must Let Go

It is not a phrase I made up, but it fits perfectly in our world. Really, it fits in everyone’s world.

As seasoned martial artists, we are perfectionists at heart. We almost have to be. Otherwise, we would not have made it as far as we have. That passion for scrutiny is what drives excellence to keep climbing.

As teachers this focus on detail, combined with our caring and compassion, becomes a powerful tool. This is what draws students to us for guidance and support.

That often awakens a natural nurturing instinct in us. At times, it can even become a coddling mentality. In the beginning, some of that is necessary. Students need help developing the basic skills they can lean on. They need encouragement, correction, and support. That is an important stage of training, and naturally we want to help them reach their goals faster than we reached ours. That, by itself, is a very positive mentality.

But eventually, there comes a phase where we have to let the students off the leash.

Everything can sound good in theory, but putting it into practice is where the stress, uncertainty, and problem-solving begin to shape training into something functional. While we never truly “release students into the wild,” it is still very healthy for them to feel that they have to prove their mettle and perform at the level they believe they are capable of.

Obviously, tournaments and black belt testings are some of the best examples of this. Even though the students are performing unassisted, it is still a controlled environment.

But we do not have to wait for the big moments. There are plenty of smaller opportunities to give students that same experience.

Some are obvious. Demonstrating in front of the class or going through a kyu testing can create that kind of pressure and reveal what is really there. But there are other opportunities that are more subtle.

For example, if we have a chance to attend a cross-training class with an instructor from another dojo or even another style, encouraging the appropriate student to participate can have a powerful effect. It asks them to step outside what is familiar and rely on what they truly know.

The same can happen within a normal class. Letting students rotate partners during an intense drill and keeping the drill going for several minutes can force their brains to work under pressure. Often, that is when they begin to realize the true value of what they have been taught.

In an ideal world, after going through that kind of experience, the student comes back to you quickly and asks for advice on how to move forward.

That is a fantastic teaching moment.

Because in order to grow, they have to be supported. But in order to truly grow, they also have to be let go.