Remember the Role You Have

We work hard at what we do.

Work, family, dojo — it is a delicate balance, and it is something we all have to constantly adjust. While that balance can be rewarding, it can also be frustrating and draining at times.

When we become frustrated or drained, our ability to balance those responsibilities can get a little haywire. We start trying to fix everything at once. We see every unfinished task, every loose end, every problem that still needs attention. Before long, we are stretched thin, and the things that matter most can suffer because we are trying to handle too much at the same time.

So here is a mental strategy:

Remember the role you have.

Commonly, people say, “It is my job,” as a way of avoiding responsibility for what is happening around them. That is not the concept here.

This is not about avoiding responsibility.

This is about focus.

Remember the role you have when your spouse is out of town and you are in charge of making sure the kids get fed, get to school on time, and make it to their activities. Maybe the floors did not get cleaned. Maybe that would have been ideal. But in that moment, your role was to make sure everyone got where they needed to go, that the kids were cared for, and that the household kept moving.

Yes, the floors may need to be cleaned. But not at the expense of getting the kids to soccer practice on time. Not at the expense of having the mental energy to help them stay calm before school. Not at the expense of the priority that mattered most in that moment.

“Remember the role you have” is a way of reminding yourself not to try to fix everything all at once. It is a way to concentrate your effort on doing your current task well.

The same is true in the dojo.

If you are running a class, you have a role. If you are assisting in a class, you also have a role. Those roles may overlap, but they have different priorities. And make no mistake about it: the role of an assistant is just as important to the student as the role of the person running the class.

The instructor leading the class may be responsible for the overall direction, pacing, and structure. The assistant may be responsible for helping students stay on task, correcting details, encouraging someone who is struggling, or making sure a student receives attention at the right moment. Both roles matter. Both affect the quality of the class. Both serve the students.

Problems happen when we forget our role and try to do everything.

We all like to help. Many of us push ourselves hard, and that is not a bad thing. We should be in the habit of pushing ourselves. We should be willing to work, serve, assist, lead, and support the people around us.

But we also have to be mindful.

Being mindful of your role in the environment helps you remember where your priorities are. It helps you avoid extending yourself so far that you lose sight of the task that actually needed your attention.

Remember the role you have and strive to do it well.

Support others where you can.

But do not let the desire to do everything keep you from doing the most important thing well.